The Pageboy is to Be the Hairstyle Not the Pen Pal

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Manolo says, it is the well-known and widely admired policy of the Manolo to generally ignore the risible antics of the American political classes.

This it is not simply because the Manolo has the more important things to do with his time, such as wonder what has happened to his funky little fashion troll, but also because unmannerly behavior and rudeness of any sort are anathema to the Manolo.

Yet, there are the instances when the behavior of one politician or the other becomes so egregious that even the Manolo cannot happily ignore it.

Such is the case with the actions of the now-notorious congressional dumb-bell, Mark Foley, who was revealed this past week as having sent the lurid emails to the supple young pageboy, emails in which he apparently proposed acting out the key scenes to the 1987 movie the Dirty Dancing, with Foley offering to take the role played by the Patrick Swayze, with all of the star’s signature moisture.

Or at the least, this is what the Manolo has been led to believe, as he has not deigned to read the emails himself.

It is needless to say, that such behavior by the fully-grown man is most deplorable, but it is also hardly out of character for the American politician.

Indeed, the Congressional misbehavior has the long and most distinguished pedigree.

One must not forget that the first Continental Congress contained the Benjamin Franklin, the man who while in England was the frequent guest at the Hellfire Club , the notorious institution where the delicate young French tarts may have reddened the elderly Philadelphian’s rotund backside with the birch switch.

Sadly, later Congressional amatory escapades would not be so refined.

In the place of the charmingly twinkle-eyed and naughty Poor Richard, we have of late been assaulted by only the most grotesque and blatant horndoggery:

Foxee lady…. coming to get you.
…. such as the unedifying spectacle of the tubby congressmen caught publicly frolicking with the exotic dancer,

“We did not make a sandwich with that woman….”
or of the senior senators from New England who infamously created the “waitress sandwich” in the toney Georgetown restaurant,

“Do you enjoy gladiator movies, Kelly?”
or of the disgraced solon from Oregon who would launch himself groin first at the young women who strayed within range.

Indeed, such examples are only the top of the very large iceberg of seething middle-aged hormones that is the Washington, D.C., the place where the devotees of Priapus are legion.

Political power, distance from the home district, and the ready availability of the nubile and star-struck young peoples can make even the most respectable Mr. Smith Goes to Washington go native and begin pawing at the pages, interns and professional staffs.

What then is there to do?

The Manolo suggests following the example of the Humane Society by instituting the program of voluntary spay and neutering, although if this is not enough, perhaps the more aggressive catch-and-release scheme may be instituted, something which involves the honeytraps and the tranquilizer darts, with the urologists standing at the ready.

Yes, perhaps this may sound to you of the extreme, but only by such radical measures can we protect our vulnerable youth, while assuring that these wild congressional animals remain the free and proud symbols of our nation’s legislative branch.

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PJM Special Correspondent The Manolo is the source of all superfantasticness, and of the most expert knowing of the shoes!

An exclusive article from Pajamas Media, the Best of the Blogs, and POLITICSCENTRAL.